Welcome to The Custom Kitchen

Fully customized Michelin-star roasts, shout-outs, and blessings — cooked to order.

This is where the comedy gets cooked.

In other words, this is where we create exactly what you want! Fully personalized and cooked to perfection.

You bring the name, the drama, the ex, the story, or the vibe — and our crew of animated characters will roast, bless, or shout ’em out with soul.

We’ll use whatever piece of information you provide — name, story, photo, or theme — and we’ll even animate a picture and drop it in the video. We don't use templates — we use truth

Or you can give us full creative control — but BEWARE… we savagely roast 🔥.

But we also “spiritually align” 🧘‍♂️ or wholeheartedly thank 😇.

And if we go too hard on your aunt Martha, we’ll create a free animated apology and send it to her ❤️.

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🎤 Every drop is made-to-order.

Every custom order is prepared from the ground up, 100% original, voiced by our original characters, and layered with personality. This ain't no A.l.script. And this ain't Cameo — this is Everybody Gotta Eat, where the roast hits deeper and the affirmations hit harder. Whether you're celebrating someone, confronting some energy, or just need a good laugh - we craft it with care and cook it with soul. Real character voices. No templates. Written and created by humans, vibed out through our characters.

100% original scriptwriting, comedy, and character delivery built from the ground up — in MP3 audio or full MP4 animated video.

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Whether it’s:

🍑 A savage roast

🧘‍♀️ An affirmation

🙌 A heartfelt blessing

🎉 A birthday shout-out

😈 Or something spicy

This is the place to order it.

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💡 Here’s how it works:

🧍‍♂️ Pick your character - Wanda, Grits, J.J or Juan

🔥 Choose the delivery - Audio MP3 or Video MP4.

📝 Decide the style - You script it or let us freestyle

🌶️ Name your flavor- Sweet, Medium, or Extra Spicy

✅ Please include all necessary details in the order form. Or e-mail us if we need the back story..

🎤 CUSTOM VOICE DROPS (MP3)

One Liner (0–10 seconds):

$20

A single line from any character — short, sharp, and funny as hell.

Short Scene (10–25 seconds):

$50

A few lines that tell a mini story or deliver a longer roast, blessing, or vibe.

Need More?

5+ lines, full monologues, or more complex projects —

👉 Email us directly

Delivered as an MP3 file — perfect for birthdays, affirmations, or calling out your ex with spiritual humor.

💵 How Much Does It Cost?